185. Mugen Senshi Valis (Tokuma Soft, Famicom, 1987)

Mugen Senshi Valis is a port of the PC Engine game of the same name, and wow, I don't think any game I've played this year initially underwhelmed me quite as hard. I played the original Valis after it was released on the Japanese PS3 store, and found it to be a clunky but fun platformer. The real draws were the big character sprites, CD soundtrack, and anime cutscenes, none of which are present (or exactly technologically possible) in the Famicom version.

No, Famicom Valis is more about getting lost in bland, samey levels and fighting never-ending waves of annoying enemies. Levels are maddening labyrinths of areas that are hard to visually read. sometimes you can press up to enter an alley and sometimes you can't. Other times, a down arrow will quickly flash on the screen showing you that you can press down to enter a new area, but enemies are constantly pouring in, which overwhelms you and leaves no time for figuring out where you are. Every time I die and restart, I learn a little more about the structure of the world, but my progress still feels glacial.

Your character sprite is about 1/2-1/3 the size it was on the PC Engine version, and the beam saber attack is animation-nerfed into a weaker-than-Megaman pea shooter. Attacking and jumping are both not great, though there is a small delight in the way your character slides along the ground like it's ice.

To the game's credit, there is a continue feature which lets you start a level over, but that said, I had to abuse save states to make any real progress. While enemy and boss patterns are very basic and easy to memorize, the limp jump and attack make it so that most encounters are a struggle, not to mention bosses take a ridiculous number of hits to bring down. The second level is even more of a labyrinth, with doors you can go in and people you have to talk to in order to acquire necessary items. After feeling like I got the hang of the game after the first level, the second level was very overwhelming. I'm just glad there's a short poorly written gameFAQs guide for just about every Famicom game.

1/5, a port that does away with everything good about the original, replacing it with scraps of trash